Painful Silence
by RBTL
Summary: Al's always been a bit shy, but he's never been afraid to talk to people. That is, he wasn't until Scorpius showed up. Now Al wonders if he'll ever be able to speak again. AS/S Complete
1. Chapter 1

"Rose, do you really think I'll be sorted into Slytherin?" It was obvious that Harry's parting words to Al had done nothing to abate his worry. He sat with his cousin on the Hogwarts Express, nibbling on a sugar quill his mum had tucked into his bag.

Rose let out a huge sigh and frowned at him as she looked up from her Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. "Albus Severus Potter, you will be sorted into whichever house best fits your inherent traits. You may be sorted into Slytherin, but you may also be sorted into Gryffindor. So please, relax!" After shoving her textbook into her bag and rummaging around for a minute, she pulled out the book An Introduction to Hogwarts. Her mother, Hermione Granger-Weasley, had created it for Muggleborn students as part of her An Introduction to the Wizarding World series. It was a much easier read than her favorite book, Hogwarts: A History, and it was almost 500 pages shorter, so Rose carried it around when she was pressed for space. She could tell that Al was not going to calm down, no matter what she said, so she handed the book over to him. "Turn to page 713."

"You don't have to prove it to me, Rosie. I believe you."

She rolled her eyes. "There's a quiz on that page that is supposed to help you identify which house you are likely to be sorted into."

"Oh!" Al grinned and flipped hurriedly to the page after asking Rose to repeat the number, almost dropping the sugar quill in his rush. "Found it! 'Which house will you be sorted into?'" He read aloud. "Did you do this quiz?"

"Yep. I'm either a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw."

He sighed and shook his head. "Well, that's obvious to anyone with a brain. I guess I'll give it a try." He paused and took a breath. "Alright, let's see... question number one: 'Which of these animals do you like the best? Fox, bear, cat, wolf.'" He nodded as he thought. "I suppose it's a cat. After all, what is a cat but a little lion? And a lion is very Gryffindorish."

"Al, 'Gryffindorish' isn't a word. And cat was the Slytherin answer." She smirked when Al's jaw dropped.

"No way! I don't believe you!"

"A cat is considered a Slytherin because cats are loners that look out for themselves. Also, cats tend to want to be leaders, or the 'top cat' so to speak."

Al shook his sugar quill at her. "No way! What about Aunt Minerva? Her Animagus form is a cat and she was Head of Gryffindor when mum and dad were in school!"

Rose nodded. "Exactly, she was _Head _of Gryffindor, which isn't exactly someplace someone with no ambition gets to.And how many times did she use that power to sneak up on you when you were trying to snitch some of her ginger snaps?"

"I forgot about that... I guess she was kinda Slytherin sometimes too..." Al grinned sheepishly and kicked his feet a little; they dangled in the air since he was rather short for his age.

She merely rolled her eyes again. "Slytherin does not mean sneaky or bad. Honestly, Al, a Slytherin is someone for whom ambition is their main goal in life."

Al crossed his arms with a pout. "Your dad says that all Slytherins are evil."

"Yes, and my mum says that my father is insane, so who are you going to believe?" She saw him open his mouth to speak and cut him off. "Never mind, just finish taking the quiz, all right?"

Al's gaze returned to the book. "Oh. Um, question number two is: 'Which of the following colors do you like the best? Yellow, green, orange, purple.'" This time he really took his time thinking about his answer, nibbling some more on his sugar quill. His reply of "I think I'll go with yellow," was interrupted when a blonde boy stuck his head in the door.

"Hello. Can I sit in here?" Al glanced at the stranger and looked away, feeling trapped.

Rose nodded. "Of course! I'm Rose Weasley." She stood up and held out her hand to him.

The boy smiled at her as he stepped in the door. "I know. I'm Scorpius Malfoy. My father said to avoid you, but as you can tell, I don't listen well." They shook hands and then Scorpius turned to Al, who seemed to be contemplating the book in his lap very deeply. Scorpius held out his hand, saying, "You must be Albus Potter," but Al never even looked up; his eyes felt permanently attached to the book in front of him. He wanted to speak, but he just could not make the words come out.

Scorpius held his hand out for a few more seconds before finally dropping it. Both he and Rose frowned at Al. "If you don't want me here that's all you have to say." He turned back towards the door and offered Rose another smile as he left. "I'll see you around, Rose."

Rose turned and glared at Al. "That was probably the rudest thing you have ever done. I am ashamed to say that I am related to you. I don't think even James has ever completely ignored someone before!"

Al finally looked up from his book, his words nothing but a whisper when he finally spoke. "I couldn't speak Rosie. I just couldn't speak."

* * *

For the rest of the trip to Hogwarts, Rose fussed at Al for being rude. He had been oddly subdued and kept repeating to her that he couldn't say anything, that he didn't know why, and after some time she had finally given up and settled in to read her Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook for the third time. She completely ignored Albus and his rapidly disappearing sugar quill, even as they were told to put on their robes by Victoire when she passed by with the other prefects. It wasn't until they had shrugged on their school robes that Rose turned to look at her cousin.

Maybe it was simply his worry over the sorting that had made him act so rudely to Scorpius. He looked almost scared now; his face was ghostly white. He was even biting one of his fingernails, an old habit of his that Rose knew Aunt Ginny had weaned him from when he was eight. He was rarely this nervous about anything and Rose felt horrible for antagonizing him when he was so upset. "Listen, Al, it will be fine, I promise. I will still be your friend no matter what houses we end up in. You know that, right?"

"It's not..." Al's voice trailed off. She wouldn't understand if he told her he was less worried about the sorting than he was about being unable to talk. So, he simply nodded and offered her a tremulous smile. "Yeah, I know." He gathered his things up into his trunk as they felt the train coming to a stop. "Let's just get ready to go."

Rose patted him on the back before she strode into the hall of the train. She was quickly separated from Al in the crush of people, but she knew he would be fine.

Their compartment was near a door to the outside, and the flow of people quickly pushed him through it. He heard a loud voice calling "Firs' years this way! Over here! Firs' years!" and recognized it as "Uncle Hagrid," whose rock biscuits Al had teethed on as a baby. He fought his way through the crowd, keeping his eyes down in an effort to avoid attention. The noise created by a few hundred teenagers was giving him a headache.

When he finally arrived by Hagrid's side, Al offered him a grin before returning his gaze to the ground. Hagrid beamed down at him and patted his shoulder gently before continuing to shout for the first years. When it had calmed down some he was able to see Rose among the other first years, but she was standing next to that boy, Scorpius. Al stayed beside Hagrid.

Finally, the older students had all boarded the waiting carriages and Hagrid called for all of the first years to follow him. He led them down a dark and narrow path, and as they rounded a bend, the castle came into view. The children gasped at the sight.

Al had been to Hogwarts before to visit people with his parents, but he had never before seen it from this part of the grounds. The sight of the huge castle towering over everything inspired both awe and trepidation in him. Hagrid stopped at the end of a dock and instructed the first years to get into the prepared boats. He saw Rose waving at him from a boat that she was sharing with Scorpius, so he headed towards her, preferring even the scowling boy as a boat-mate over complete strangers. He clambered into the boat and sat quietly in front of Rose, staring at the water so that he wouldn't be expected to speak to anyone. Another girl who Al didn't know climbed into the back of the boat and introduced herself to Scorpius. Al thought he heard her say her name was Topaz, but he wasn't sure.

"Forward!" Hagrid cried, and all the boats started off towards the castle. They quickly traversed the lake, perhaps a little faster than Al was comfortable with, and approached the cliff that Hogwarts stood on. He knew from Uncle Ron's stories that they would get to the castle by entering an underground grotto, but it was far stranger to experience it for himself than it was to hear someone talk about it. His nerves were being torn to bits by anxiety as he disembarked from the boat. He followed behind Rose, slowly nearing a path in the rocks that Hagrid had already gone through. He bumped into a wall in the dark and felt slime beneath his fingertips. With a shudder, he huddled closer to Rose's back and rushed through the darkness. When they finally emerged onto the grounds of Hogwarts, Al had to stifle a sigh of relief at a familiar sight. His parents' good friend, Neville Longbottom, stood at the open front doors to the castle.

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" He greeted them with a smile and a wave as they approached. "I'll take over, Hagrid. Now, come on in." He ushered them into the entrance hall where Al heard awed whispers about the grand staircase and the huge room itself. He was lat the sight than the others, as this was a place where he was comfortable. The things in the hall were innately familiar to him; his first visit to Hogwarts had been when he was only seven weeks old. He had tripped on the steps of the grand staircase when he was two. James had locked him in the broom cupboard off the hall when he was seven. The Great Hall doors were the most familiar things he had seen since he left home that morning. He smiled at Professor Longbottom, a man who knew him almost as well as his family, and received a wink in return.

"Now, in a few minutes all of you will be sorted into houses. Your houses will determine where you will eat, where you will sleep, and who you will attend classes with, but they will not determine who you will become friends with. Your house will become something of a family to you though, as these will be the people you see day in and day out.

"While you are at Hogwarts you will gain and lose house points. You can gain house points by being good and excelling in classes. If you misbehave you will lose house points, which will lead to your house becoming upset with you, so I would avoid doing that. The house that has the most points at the end of the year will win the House Cup, which is a huge honor. Ravenclaw has won it for the last three years.

"Now, when you enter the Great Hall I will be calling you forward in alphabetical order. You will then sit on the stool in the front of the hall and place the Sorting Hat on your head. Forget what your siblings may have told you; this is virtually pain free." He paused to smile at them all again and then urged them to form a single file line. He had just begun to open the doors to the Great Hall when he turned back towards them. "Oh, yes, and, before I forget, let me introduce you to our resident ghosts."

Almost all of the first years jumped as twenty-five or so ghosts flooded into the entrance hall. Most of the passed through without even a glance at the children, but one ghost who looked to be about fifteen or sixteen stopped and waved at them. "Hello! I'm Colin Creevey. Don't be afraid of us, we are quite docile." The ghost grinned and shrugged. "I wish someone would invent a ghost camera so I could finally capture the look of shock on the first year's faces, Neville." He flew through the wall after the rest of the ghosts, calling back to them, "See you in a minute!" With that, Professor Longbottom threw open the doors to the Great Hall.

"Come on, hurry on in now. There are a bunch of you to sort and the older students are waiting for their food." The line of eleven-year-olds quickly proceeded into the hall and the doors were pulled shut behind them. The hall quickly grew quiet as the first years were ushered up in front of the Head Table. Professor Longbottom proceeded to pull an old and battered hat out of thin air, which he then placed on a stool in front of them. You could have heard a pin drop in the hall, which was why Al started when the hat began to sing.

_"Oh, I am a Thinking Cap,  
you place me on your head.  
I can read your every thought  
yes, every thought, I said._

_If you believe in courage  
and find blending in a bore,_  
_without a doubt you'll find your place  
in the house of Gryffindor._

_Future Ravenclaws will find  
that they are all quite smart.  
This is because knowledge  
fills their brains and hearts._

_Slytherins are the ones who  
will end up leaders of the land,  
because they are ambitious and  
know when to take a stand._

_A friend from these fellows  
is a friend who you can trust.  
Loyalty lies in the last house,  
as Hufflepuffs are just._

_I will tell you which House  
will fit you best.  
As I'm the Sorting Hat  
and I'm a brim above the rest."_

Al giggled a little at the song, which was rather silly, but his laughter died when Professor Longbottom called out the first name of "Anders, Michelle."

The tall, blonde girl climbed onto the stool and Professor Longbottom set the hat on her head. The whole hall seemed to hold its breath until the hat announced "HUFFLEPUFF!" at the top of its lungs... not that hats had any internal organs. The hall erupted into cheers and the sorting continued relatively quickly from there. Around fifty or so other children would be first years along with Al and Rose. After forty-six children had been sorted, including Scorpius, who had been quickly labeled a Slytherin, it was Al's turn.

At Professor Longbottom's call of "Potter, Albus," Al walked forward and sat upon the stool. The hat was perched upon his crown, and Al could see that almost every single student's eyes were upon him. His gaze fell to the floor at the sight of so many stares, but it jumped back up when he heard a voice.

"So, another Potter then? And this one is so much like his father. Your brother was more like your mother; only Gryffindor would fit him. But you, my dear boy, could do well in Slytherin, just as your father could have."

Al wanted to tell the hat, _No, please, anything but Slytherin,_ but the words felt like they were caught in the back of his brain. How was Al supposed to tell the hat what house he wanted to be in now?

The hat snickered in his ear. "Don't worry; I can still hear your thoughts. Unfortunately for you, I don't think I'll listen as I did for your father, because no house fits you half as well as SLYTHERIN!"

Al knew that the hat's last word had been spoken aloud as everyone in the hall let out a gasp. Al felt like gasping too. He had worried about being in Slytherin, but his worries had never even touched upon what other people's reactions would be. The son of Harry Potter being sorted into Slytherin... no one would believe it if the whole Great Hall had not witnessed it.

Professor Longbottom removed the hat from Al's head and he stumbled towards the green trimmed table, vaguely noticing that the Slytherin crest had appeared on his school robe. The stares finally turned away from him, but only because the people around him had begun to whisper to one another. Seating himself at the very end of the Slytherin table, Al hardly noticed that he had not received the cheers and clapping that the other new students to the house had. He kept his eyes on the table in front of him until Rose was called up to be sorted. His hope that she would end up in Slytherin was dashed by the hat's quick call of "GRYFFINDOR!"

Headmistress Aurora Sinistra, who had been appointed after Aunt Minerva resigned, stood as soon as Rose reached the Gryffindor table amidst applause and cheering. All Al knew about her was that she was a bit odd, though quite intelligent. She smiled at all of them as the clapping died down. "I know you are all anxiously awaiting your food, so I will try to make this short. Welcome to Hogwarts! I am glad to see all of you who have returned and all of you joining us for the first time. Have fun this year, study hard, and stay out of trouble. Now, let us eat!"

The tables in the hall were suddenly laden with food that made Albus's mouth water. He reached out for a piece of chicken on the plate in front of him, only to have an upper year smack his hand away. "Hey, hey, hey! Older students get to serve themselves first!" The boy grinned at him. "I'm just kidding. Help yourself! I'm Jeremy. You're Albus, right?"

And that was when it happened again. The words felt like they were caught inside of Al. He wanted to talk to the boy and introduce himself, but he just couldn't. In fact, the boy's stare upset him so much that he could not look up from his plate, even when the boy sneered at him and said, "Fine, you can just be a high and mighty Potter then," and turned away from him. Al lost his appetite. He picked on some bread for the rest of the meal, but he never looked up from his plate or said a word to anyone.

* * *

The end of the meal brought Al much relief. He stood when everyone else did and headed towards the seventh year Slytherin prefect who called for the first years to follow him. There were eleven other Slytherin first years, but they had already seemed to have formed groups, so Al stayed to the back of everyone and trailed behind as they made their way into the dungeons. He noticed that Scorpius had not attached himself to any group either, but instead strode directly behind the prefect, essentially leading all of the other first years. The role seemed to fit him as much as tag-along fit Al. He barely registered what turns they had taken to get to the dormitories, but the next thing he knew they were standing at the entrance to the common room, a blank stone wall that was really a door. The prefect admonished them all to remember the password (fairy floss), pointed out where the girl's and boy's dormitories were, and then ignored them. Some of the first years began to drift around the room and look at various things on the walls and on a large bulletin board near the doorway. Al simply headed towards the dormitory, hoping to escape from the strangers who he was expected to live with.

Once inside the dormitory, Al took a deep breath, glad to be alone for a moment. The room was circular and contained six beds, each with a trunk at the foot of it and a nightstand next to it. The bed nearest the door to the common room was rather isolated, and Al was glad to find his trunk was already there. He changed quickly and tossed his uniform into the trunk before climbing into his four-poster bed, pulling its forest green curtains tightly closed. He huddled under the covers in the sudden darkness and started to cry.

The numbness he had begun to feel that afternoon on the train when meeting Scorpius had only strengthened as more and more strangers appeared around him, reaching its strongest point when Al was sorted into the dreaded Slytherin House. But now, the darkness inside of the bed curtains seemed to melt away the feeling, leaving nothing but sadness in its wake.

He had never felt this way before. His aunt, Audrey, who had been a teacher before she married Uncle Percy, had home schooled all of the Weasley and Potter children from the time they were four or five. When Al was with his cousins he felt normal. In fact, he was comfortable with almost all of his family members, most of whom he had seen at least once a week at Grandma Molly's Sunday dinners from the time he was born. He never went anywhere without one family member or another, mostly because the press tended to attack anyone related to Harry Potter. Al knew he was shy and that most of his family called him a worry-wart; James made fun of him because of this all of the time. But he had never before felt the way that he did today, surrounded by all of these strangers. Words becoming frozen in his throat and emotions being numbed until they almost disappeared were new phenomena--ones that Al did not like.

As Al thought about his family, he wondered what they would have to say about him being sorted into Slytherin. Uncle Ron tended to be quite vocal in his denouncements of Slytherins, but most of his other family members never even mentioned houses. He knew that Aunt Audrey had been a Ravenclaw and that Aunt Fleur had never been sorted since she had not attended Hogwarts. He figured that at least his parents would accept him being a Slytherin, as they had both said that they did not care which house he was sorted into. So, that was all right; even if James and the rest of his relatives didn't like it.

The door opened and Al heard a bunch of feet tromp into the room. "Looks like prissy Potter already headed off to sleep." The voice traveled through his thick curtains and Al could almost see the sneer that he heard in the boy's voice.

A second boy chimed in. "Poor baby. I guess the big day must have worn him out."

Al wanted to jump up from the bed and protest, but the boy's words had paralyzed him. His voice was completely trapped inside of him. Tears that had begun to slow down were renewed, but they were completely silent. Not even a single whimper escaped from Al's tightly closed lips.

A voice spoke from right next to Al's bed, and it was finally one he recognized. Scorpius sighed and then addressed the other boys. "Listen guys, leave off him, alright?"

"Aw, does Scorpius have a crush on the ickle Potter boy?" Another voice echoed from the farthest side of the room.

Scorpius growled. "Shut up, Bole. Unlike you, I don't get my jollies by making fun of other people."

Bole huffed loudly. "You shut up, Malfoy. You think you're better than the rest of us too, don't you?"

"Better than you, anyway." Scorpius sounded like he was smirking at Bole, and Al felt a little bit better. At least one Slytherin wouldn't tease him, even if he and Al didn't become friends. The numbness was still there, but there was a small feeling of happiness underneath it and the tears had stopped.

The boys were all shuffling around the room, making sounds like they were going to bed. Scorpius had not moved from his place next to Al's bed, so it seemed like he would be the one sleeping in the bed nearest Al's. Finally all of the noises stopped and it seemed as though the other boys were asleep. Al's eyes, which were swollen and probably red, started to drift close. He whispered in the direction of Scorpius's bed the first word he had spoken in hours. "Goodnight."


	2. Chapter 2

After tossing and turning all night, Al awoke when he heard muffled sounds near his bed. Al peeked through his curtains and found that Scorpius was getting ready for the day. There was a clock on the boy's nightstand reading six o'clock. Realising that the other boys would be up soon, Al waited until Scorpius left the room before he jumped out of bed and hurried into his uniform. His class schedule had been left on his nightstand, presumably by a house elf, so he shoved it in his schoolbag along with the books he would need. Once positive he had gathered everything, he rushed out of the room before any of the other boys had even begun to stir. The common room was empty; Albus slipped through the room without being called to speak to anyone.

The minute he stepped outside of the door he realised he was lost. He knew that the Slytherin dorms were under the lake, so he headed down the hallway, keeping his eyes open for stairwells. When he reached a set of stairs he headed up them, figuring it was the best way to go. He found himself in the entrance hall after climbing two flights up.

The doors to the Great Hall had been propped open and he smelled the scents of bacon and toast wafting through the air. He scurried through the door and looked towards the Gryffindor table. None of his relatives were there yet. He glanced at the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables, but none of his cousins sat at either of them. He finally glanced at the Slytherin table and saw that Scorpius Malfoy was sitting there--and watching him. Scorpius seemed to frown and then he waved as if he wanted Al to come sit with him. Giving the rest of the hall a final glance to make sure he hadn't missed seeing anyone he knew, he shuffled over to where Scorpius sat.

When he stood next to the Slytherin, the boy smiled up at Al and gestured at the seat next to him with his fork. "Do you want to sit here?"

Al nodded quickly, grateful that someone was willing to befriend him even though he couldn't seem to make his voice work. He settled into the seat offered to him and placed some food on his plate, his stomach grumbling to remind him that his dinner the night before had consisted of a piece of bread. His gaze remained focused on the food in front of him and he ate quickly, hoping to escape before more Slytherins showed up.

Scorpius laughed. "Slow down. The food won't disappear until seven forty-five; you've plenty of time to eat." Al's eyes flickered upward to Scorpius's grin and he smiled back, consciously slowing down his rate of consumption. This seemed to please the other boy as his grin remained in place and he nodded slightly. "Our first class is with Professor Flitwick. He's been at this school longer than any other teacher. My father had him for Charms, too."

Al knew Professor Flitwick. His mother was excellent at charms, and she had often taken him to visit her old professor. Scorpius waited for Al to say something, so he pushed himself and managed to mutter, "He's nice." Scorpius must have considered that enough because he continued to spout off on various topics of small talk. Al nodded or shook his head when appropriate and they finished eating.

Al spent the rest of the morning with Scorpius. The boy took Al under his wing for some reason, regardless of the fact that Al couldn't talk to him. In Charms, Al had not been able to say present when Flitwick had called his name, but Scorpius had called it out for him and Flitwick had not noticed. When they attempted to cast a levitation spell, Al whispered his spell to the feather and made it levitate a few inches off of the desk, escaping any scrutiny.

The Transfiguration teacher, Professor Higgs, had them sign in on a register before class started so that he would not have to take attendance. He proceeded to transform various objects in the room into other objects and explained that they would be studying the theory behind Transfiguration before they actually started to transfigure anything. Thus, Al was able to make it through another class without talking to anyone.

At lunch Al ate with Scorpius again. The other boys ignored both of them, which Al was rather happy about. Scorpius seemed rather upset though, and Al felt bad. He knew he was the reason that the other boys did not like Scorpius, so he ate quickly and then jotted out a note.  
_  
Going to go explore. See you in Herbology!  
Al _

He shoved the note into Scorpius's lap and dashed out before the other boy could say anything. A glance at his watch told him that he still had forty-five minutes until Herbology, but he headed out towards the greenhouses anyway. His class was supposed to be held in Greenhouse One, so he searched around until he found it. The door was unlocked; he slipped inside and took a seat near what he thought would be the back of the room. Feeling lonely, he lowered his head down to the desk and napped a bit.

He didn't wake up until he heard people entering the greenhouse almost thirty-five minutes later. The crest on their robes declared them to be Gryffindors, making Al afraid he had misread his schedule. He checked it again and this time he saw that the Slytherins shared Herbology with the Gryffindors. Al brightened as he realised that Rose would be in class with him. He replaced his schedule and took out his supplies just as Rose entered the room. He waved at her and she waved back. She then proceeded to sit down near the front of the room with another girl from Gryffindor, dashing Al's hopes that he would be able to talk to someone.

The other Slytherin boys trailed in the door next and every one of them shot Al a glare. With eyes on the table, Al felt like he would start crying any minute. A hand clapped down on his shoulder before any tears could escape his eyes, and Scorpius sat next to him. A shared smile was all they had time for before Professor Longbottom strode into the room with apologies for being late.

_Have fun exploring?  
S_

The note was shoved in front of Al as Professor Longbottom began to lecture them. Al beamed at his table-mate. This was a way that he could communicate when words failed him.

_I didn't do much... I just walked around the greenhouses a bit.  
A _

He passed it back to Scorpius, who scribbled something and sent it back.

_How come you ignored me on the train?_

Al cringed. How was he supposed to answer that? If he said he ignored him because he couldn't speak, Scorpius would think he was weird. Hastily, Al jotted down an excuse and passed it back to him.

_Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. It's just that my Uncle Ron said not to talk to you, and I was worried about upsetting him. Plus, I'm kinda shy, so I don't really talk to anyone I don't know._

_That's all right. I understand. My mother's shy; she told me once that she didn't speak a single word to my father in the first five years she knew him._

Al grinned. She sounded like a lady he would like. Both of his parents were friendly people and he never understood how they could talk to total strangers without feeling uncomfortable.

_I feel bad for abandoning you at lunch. Did you talk to the other first years?_

Scorpius snorted.

_Yeah, right. Those guys are total tossers. They tried to talk to me, but I left for the library.  
Rose Weasley was in there, she said something about you guys eating dinner together._

_Oh, maybe she wants me to eat with the Gryffindors tonight...  
If she does... do you want to eat with us?_

Scorpius nodded and flashed him a grin before hurriedly stuffing the paper in his robe as Professor Longbottom headed towards them.

* * *

Rose did indeed want him to eat with the Gryffindors that night. In fact, all of the Weasley clan was sitting at the Gryffindor table, and while surrounded by his family, Al had almost no problem talking. It felt like a Sunday night dinner at Grandma Weasley's Burrow when all of the kids were shunted to another table so the adults could talk. Even Victoire had deemed to sit with them, even though she was a seventh year Gryffindor prefect.

Tossed in amongst the Gryffindor Weasleys were a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws; Al was the only one in his family in Slytherin, but he didn't feel out of place. Most of the kids had dragged a friend or two over to sit with them, so Scorpius wasn't out of place either.

James greeted him with a grin. "What did I tell you? I knew you were snake material." He reached out and ruffled Al's hair, lording his recent growth spurt over his younger brother. "That's all right. We still love you anyway. Now, let's get some pot roast!" He sat across the table from Al, kicking him underneath it every once in a while.

Al spent most of the supper talking about his first day with Rose and Scorpius. The words were slow coming out of his mouth, and he was rather quiet, but he managed to speak almost normally with Rose. He also found it easier to talk to Scorpius while focusing on a family member instead of the boy who was rapidly changing from a stranger to his best friend.

"Did you have Charms today?" Scorpius asked Rose over Al's head. Al didn't mind; he was perfectly fine with being ignored if it meant he could be around people he was comfortable with.

"Yes! We learnt the _Wingardium Leviosa_ spell today. I managed to make my feather float a whole foot in the air for almost ten minutes! Professor Flitwick says that..." Rose was rather like his Aunt Hermione in that she could come up with a ten minute discourse on a single subject off of the top of her head. After listening to his cousins Roxi and Molly discuss what the best colour for book bags was for the past fifteen minutes, Al was inclined to believe that it was just a girl thing.

Scorpius held up his end of the conversation with Rose, allowing Al to eat his food in peace for a while. As all sat in silence, he became curious about how word of this gathering spread to all of his cousins so quickly. Rose informed him that most nights all of the Weasley children ate at the Gryffindor table and that he was welcome to come eat with them as well. Al felt like punching James for not mentioning it when he described his first year, since worries that he would never see any of his cousins had plagued him after he was placed in Slytherin.

After dinner, he and Scorpius returned to the Slytherin common room. They settled into a quiet corner to start on the homework they had been assigned that day. Scorpius was still far more vocal than Al, but Al did manage to murmur or write down what he wanted to tell Scorpius. Out of the limelight, Al was far more comfortable talking with his new friend than he had been when surrounded by strangers in the Great Hall and in class.

Both boys finished about half of their assignments, agreeing that homework on the first day seemed like overkill, before packing up for the night. They settled into their beds, Scorpius telling Al "Goodnight!" and Al returning the sentiment as a mere whisper.

* * *

That was how the first five weeks of school went. A paralysing fear of talking to anyone except his relatives and Scorpius would take hold of Al each morning. The fear only subsided when Al was alone with people he was comfortable with. Even Scorpius still brought on the fear at times, but Al would escape from this fear by writing notes to Scorpius instead of vocalising his words.

No one seemed to notice at first. Scorpius teased him a little, but decided that it was simply his confessed shyness. The Slytherins continued to call him "prissy Potter" and ignored him for the most part. His professors hardly noticed him and the ones who did figured he was merely shy and that he would open up as the school year went on. It wasn't until his fear began to affect his schoolwork that the teachers took notice of it.

Professor Higgs stood over him one day during the sixth week of school. "Mr. Potter, you must say the incantation if you wish to turn your spoon from wood into metal."

Al desperately wanted to do as his professor asked, but the professor and most of his classmates were staring and he just could not make the words come out. Staring at the spoon and willing it to change did nothing either.

Professor Higgs finally gave up, as Al would not even look up from his assignment. "Very well, Mr. Potter, you can go explain to the Headmistress exactly why you refused to do your assignment as directed." He jotted down a note on a scrap of parchment and sent Al out of the room.

Trudging down the hallway, the teacher's note clutched in his hand, Al could feel the tears beginning to leak out of his eyes. He swiped at them angrily with the back of his hand. He hated this, being unable to talk. The urge to communicate really was there, but the fear of being made fun of or looking stupid was stronger.

He followed the directions Professor Higgs had given him and arrived at a statue of a gargoyle. It leaped aside as Al approached, revealing the moving staircase that Uncle Ron had told him about. Al stepped onto it, his anxiety rising as the stairs did. It seemed as though only seconds had passed before he stood in front of a wooden door. Al used the silver snake knocker and heard the Headmistress call out something. The door opened and Al walked into the room.

It appeared to be much neater than it had been when his parents were students, as none of the odd and ends they had mentioned seeing were anywhere in sight. All that was in the room was a huge book case, some portraits on the back wall, and a big black desk in the centre of the room. The Headmistress was seated at the desk and she motioned Al to come towards her. Al moved forward and sat in the single chair in front of the desk. He handed the note over to the woman, who seemed as severe as her office, and then proceeded to stare at his toes.

She sighed upon reading the note. "I am always sad when one of my Slytherins gets themselves into trouble. Please tell me, Mr. Potter, why did you refuse to say the incantation when Professor Higgs instructed you to?" His eyes remained glued on his feet, so he did not see her purse her lips when he did not respond.

"Mr. Potter, I will be forced to give you at least a week of detentions if you do not explain to me why you have done this." Al began to cry again, and no matter how hard he swiped at his eyes, he just could not get the tears to stop. Headmistress Sinistra seemed completely perturbed by the turn of events, especially when Al managed to cry without making a single sound. "Mr. Potter! Please, tell me what is wrong!" This only increased Albus's tears and the Headmistress didn't seem to know what to do. Finally, she crossed to the fireplace and called out for Al's house. Al heard her request that his mother come through, and in the next moment his mother had Flooed into the room.

"I'm sorry, has James done something again?" Ginny Potter asked. The Headmistress shook her head vigorously, making her grey topknot wiggle slightly, and motioned to where Al sat.

"I cannot get him to say anything. He was sent to my office after refusing to speak in Transfiguration. I asked him to tell me why he did this and he broke down into tears!" Her words were rushed and accompanied by a frown. The sight of a sobbing child had caused her to lose all of her composure, and Al would have laughed at seeing the strict Headmistress so upset if the situation had not been so stressful.  
Ginny strode over to where he son stood and gathered him into a hug. "Al, honey, what is the matter?"

All Al could manage to whisper in her ear was "Can't talk."

Ginny requested that the Headmistress give them some privacy, which she did, seeming grateful that she was able to leave the boy in his mother's hands. After petting and cosseting her youngest son for a few minutes, Ginny repeated her question. This time a whole barrage of words flooded out. She learnt that it had started when Al met the Malfoy boy on the train--he had been unable to say anything to the stranger. Then he arrived at school and it had only gotten worse.

Al had found that he couldn't speak to anyone unless he had known them well before he started school. Ginny was especially concerned when he said that the Malfoy boy was the only person outside of the family Al had said even one word to since he started school.  
She almost cried when he finished his story saying, "Mummy, please, I don't know what to do. I think something is wrong with me."

* * *

Ginny believed him when he said he thought something was wrong with him. She immediately told his story to the Headmistress and then escorted him to the school Healer, Madame Quirke. Again she explained what Al had told her, adding that perhaps he had been hit with a strange hex or curse. Madame Quirke ran every diagnostic test she knew on Al, but he seemed to be in perfect health, though both his brain waves and heart rate were elevated. She decided to refer them to a paediatric specialist at St. Mungo's whom she had attended school with.

Healer Ackerley was likewise stumped by his symptoms. A relatively new healer, he had never come across a child with a malady that caused them to react to stress like Al did. He ran a few more specialised diagnostic tests on Al. The elevated brain waves were apparently also accompanied by skewed chemical levels in his brain. Al was thus referred to a Mental Health Healer. She agreed with Healer Ackerley that the problem was probably mental, but she did not know what it could be. She referred him to another specialist, who referred him to another specialist, who referred him to another specialist, Healer Summers.

Ginny was glad for her husband's notoriety at that point. If they had been average people it would have taken weeks to get appointments with each of the healers they were referred to. As it were, the secretary in each office rushed to admit them for an appointment as soon as they walked through the door.

It was nearing six o'clock in the evening by the time they were sent to Healer Summers' office. His staff was quite friendly and welcoming, and he ushered them into his personal office with a smile. Motioning that they should sit in the two wooden chairs in front of his desk, he took a seat on the other side and listened patiently as Ginny repeated her son's symptoms yet again.

Ginny was delighted when the healer's face didn't immediately fall into a look of confusion. Instead, he jumped up and strode over to a bookshelf, where he pulled out a thick book that looked relatively new. Healer Summers flipped through the crisp pages and seemed to find what he was looking for, as a small grin lit his face for a moment before he turned back to Ginny and Al.

"I think I may know what is plaguing your son. I'm going to ask you a few questions, and depending on your answers I might be able to give you a diagnosis in just a few minutes." Ginny breathed a sigh of relief and waited for him to begin.

"Let's see..." He paused to look down at the page and ran his fingers through his short brown hair. "Has he shown a consistent failure to speak in specific social situations despite speaking in other situations?" Ginny nodded. Since he had never experienced a problem speaking before this, she was certain that his inability to speak at school fit the criteria of the question.

"Has the disturbance interfered with his educational achievement or with social communication?" Ginny wiggled slightly in her uncomfortable seat before nodding again.

"Has the disturbance existed for over a month?" Ginny quickly checked her dates before answering yes.

The healer seemed somewhat excited by Ginny's answers. "Does he speak English fluently? Does he have any disorders that would affect his speech or a speech impediment, such as stuttering?"

She shook her head. "He is perfectly fluent in English, and he has never been diagnosed with any disorders or speech impediments. Before this, he never once had any problem speaking."

Healer Summers replaced the book on his shelf and was smiling when he turned around. "You'll be happy to know that I believe I can help you. Al appears to have a very rare disorder called Selective Mutism. In the wizarding world less than one tenth of one percent of the population has this disorder. It is usually caught when the child first begins primary school or is exposed to strangers, and it is rare for a case to develop this late in life, though it is not unheard of. The child generally is rendered mute when faced with talking to people he is not very comfortable with."

"Oh dear. Al never attended primary school. He was home schooled with his cousins, and he has known them since he was born."

Healer Summers wrote this down on a piece of parchment. "That is a rather common scenario among wizards. I am Muggleborn and have studied Muggle medicine, which was where I first came in contact with the disorder. It is slightly more common amongst Muggles, occurring in around seven out of every one thousand children. They almost always send their children to school and so it is caught earlier in life. I have treated only one other wizard for this before and he was about six years old when we discovered that he had the disorder."

Ginny frowned and nibbled on her bottom lip for a moment. "You can still treat Al, can't you?"

"Of course. I will combine a small daily dosage of Draught of Peace, to calm some of his anxiety, with therapy. Over time he will be able to speak with complete strangers just as easily as you and I do. Until then, I recommend that you explain to his professors and classmates exactly why he will not speak with them." The healer stood and walked over to shake both of their hands. He was understanding when Al took a few extra moments to work up the courage to grasp the offered hand.

Al sat quietly as Healer Summers and his mother discussed his course of treatment. The news that he would soon be able to speak freely with those around him made him grin.

* * *

Unfortunately, the treatment was a lot more involved than Healer Summers made it sound. It would take years of weekly therapy before Al could overcome his disorder. When Al returned to school with his mother, Ginny spoke with the Headmistress and explained about Al's disorder.

Headmistress Sinistra seemed to have regained control in the time they had been gone, and she promised to make an announcement at dinner so that the whole school would understand why Al seemed to ignore them. She also agreed to allow Healer Summers to Floo into Hogwarts on Fridays when Al had a free period so that he could begin his therapy.

Al spent a few more minutes being worried over by his mom before he told her that he was fine and that she should be getting home as Lily and Dad were probably worried. Ginny fluttered over him just a bit more before she kissed him on top of his head and told him to owl her next time he was having a problem like this. Nodding, he gave her a quick hug, and then Ginny Flooed home.

"Very well then, Mr. Potter, dinner is about to start. Let us make our way to the Great Hall." She left the room without even looking at Al, seeming to take it for granted that since he could not talk that he would not try to respond in any way.

He followed her to the Great Hall where dinner had just appeared on the tables. She motioned for him to follow her up to the Head Table. Al stood next to her in front of the table and heard her cast an amplification spell on her voice.

"Attention students! May I have your attention please?"

Every eye in the hall turned to look at her and Al. Being put on the spot upset Al, and he wanted to look down at his feet again. Instead, he glanced over at the Gryffindor table where Rose and Scorpius were both sitting and sending smiles his way. Their support allowed Al to keep his gaze on the crowd; his eyes tended to focus on the Gryffindor table more often than the other tables.

Headmistress Sinistra began speaking in her amplified voice. "As most of you know, this is Albus Potter. If any of you have tried to talk to him, you may have found that he did not respond to you. It was just discovered today that Mr. Potter suffers from a disorder called Selective Mutism. When facing an anxiety inducing situation, such as starting a new school or meeting new people, Mr. Potter's brain shuts down his communication centres.

"If you attempt to speak with him he may have difficulty making eye contact, have blank facial features, and he may not react to your words in any way. This is a part of his disorder. He is not unintelligent, as I am sure some of you are thinking, it is merely that his brain processes thoughts somewhat differently than yours. Please be understanding of Mr. Potter's predicament and do not hassle him. Thank you." She removed the amplification from her voice and patted Al on the shoulder before telling him to take a seat with his friends.

Al headed straight for the Gryffindor table and most of his family members, along with Scorpius, stood up as he approached.

His cousin Molly reached out as he passed her and hugged him. "I'm so sorry, Al, I didn't even notice..."

Fred patted him on the back and Roxi and Dom both hugged him at once. James offered him a lopsided grin and a quick hug. "I love you, but don't tell anyone I said so," he whispered in Al's ear.

After each family member had offered him some sort of condolence, Al sat down in his usual place between Rose and Scorpius. Rose squeezed his hand and offered him a small smile. Al returned the smile and murmured to her, "I'm all right, Rose, really."

Scorpius reached out and grabbed his other hand, squeezing it quickly and then dropping it.. "I'm sorry I teased you, Al. Forgive me?"

Smiling, Al nodded, happy that his friend did not seem to think he was weird. He murmured "eat" in Scorpius's direction and then settled in to devour the food on his plate.

* * *

When Al entered the common room with Scorpius that evening, he was surprised to see the older boy he had sat next to at the Sorting Feast approach. The boy shuffled his feet for a minute and then offered Al a sheepish grin.

"Listen... I feel kind of bad about how I acted at the Sorting Feast. I thought you were ignoring me and it upset me. I was still really rude to you, and I wanted to apologise." The boy grinned and held his hand out. "Let's start over. I'm Jeremy. It's nice to meet you, Albus."

He felt Scorpius touch his back and that gave him enough strength to shake hands with Jeremy. Jeremy nodded and moved away after Al's eyes fell to the floor.

Scorpius steered them both towards the first year dorm. Exhausted from a day spent in doctor's offices, Al quickly changed into his pyjamas and climbed into bed, whispering goodnight to Scorpius as he did so.

He was almost asleep when he heard the rest of the boys enter the dorm. Scorpius and he had quickly fallen into a routine where they went to bed before their dorm mates and woke up before them, so Al was surprised when he heard them tromp over next to his bed. They were whispering to each other and finally one voice spoke loudly. "Hey, um, Albus, are you awake?"

Al wasn't sure what to do when he heard Scorpius's voice. "He can't answer you."

Al laughed silently when he heard the same boy cough sheepishly. "Oh, yeah. We just want to apologise to him."

Scorpius opened the curtains and stuck his head inside. The sudden light that flooded his bed made him blink. "Do you want to talk to them, Al?"

He nodded and Scorpius pulled the curtains back as Al got out of bed. He returned to Al's side as one of their dorm mates began a clumsy apology. "We feel really bad about the way we treated you. I know I'm sorry for making fun of you for something you couldn't help."

Another boy chimed in. "Yeah, my baby sister has a stutter and I would clock anybody that did to her what we did to you."

The third boy just shuffled his feet a bit. "Sorry."

Al's gaze never even had a chance to fall before Scorpius took his hand to offer him support. Al managed to smile lightly at the boys; they took it as an acceptance of their apologies, and they all headed towards their beds.

Bole laughed from across the room. He didn't even try to offer an apology to Al as the others had. Instead he sneered at him. Al's eyes quickly began to contemplate the floorboards.

"Look at Malfoy and his messed up boyfriend. Aren't they the cutest couple you have ever seen?" Bole threw the insults at them and Al could feel Scorpius bristling next to him.

"Shut your face, Bole. You can say anything you want about me, but leave Al alone!" He made as though to go over to Bole, but Al tightened his grip on Scorpius's hand. When his friend turned to face him, Al shook his head slightly and pointed to his bed.

With a sigh, Scorpius let go of his hand. "All right. Goodnight, Al."

Al whispered his goodnight towards Scorpius. Bole was a jerk, but at least the rest of his dorm mates didn't hate him. Al crawled into bed and fell asleep with a smile on his face for the first time since he arrived at Hogwarts.


	3. Chapter 3

"Lumos!" A bright light burst from the end of Al's wand, and Professor Flitwick clapped delightedly.

"Wonderful job, Mr. Potter! I knew you could do it!" He hopped off the pile of books he had been standing on and rushed over to his desk. He scribbled down a note on a piece of parchment and handed it to Al. "You've passed your exam with flying colours. All you have to do now is take this to Headmistress Sinistra."

"Thank you," Al murmured gratefully. It had taken almost an entire year to get to this point, but he had finally finished his last exam. He gathered up his books, quill, and ink, and waved goodbye to Professor Flitwick as he exited the classroom. Scorpius was waiting for him outside of the room.

"Well?"

Al grinned. "I passed!"

Scorpius let out a whoop and Al laughed as his friend grabbed his hands and spun him around. "You did it! You finally did it!"

In a way, it was as much Scorpius's achievement as it was Al's. After Al received his diagnosis, Scorpius had pushed him to talk more often with more people. Al's therapy had begun soon after his first meeting with Healer Summers and was still ongoing. At first, various family members had been brought in to talk to Al and to get him to open up to the healer. Once Al was able to speak comfortably with Healer Summers, other people had been brought in.

That was when the therapy had stalled. Even in front of old family friends like Hagrid, Al hadn't been able to speak comfortably. After months of pushing Al to talk to anyone and everyone, Healer Summers had admitted he was at a dead end.

Then Scorpius stepped up. He had followed Al around the school for two and a half weeks after Rose told him what was happening at Al's therapy sessions. Every time Al met someone in the halls or bumped into someone down a library aisle, Scorpius would introduce himself and Al and then force Al to respond to the other person with a handshake or a smile.

When Al got to the point where he could say "Hello" to James's friends without any trouble, Scorpius snuck some Chocolate Frogs and butterbeer into the dorm from Hogsmeade for a celebration. Healer Summers had been delighted to learn about Al's breakthrough, and had Scorpius attend every one of Al's therapy sessions from then on.

With his friend there to support him, Al found it much easier to open up to those around him. Scorpius never judged him. He was content to sit there and listen to Al talk to people or to read a book while Al conversed with someone else. Gradually Scorpius was moved farther and farther from Al's side until finally Al could talk to almost everyone without his best mate for support.

Not that Al was cured. He still had horrible panic attacks at the thought of trying to talk to strangers. Taking exams or performing spells in front of others also freaked him out. However, Scorpius always seemed to be there when Al needed him. While Al took his end of the year exams, Scorpius sat outside each room waiting for him. As Al still could not speak in groups, his professors gave him private exams. Knowing that Scorpius was right outside the door had made all the difference in the world for Al, letting him focus on the exam and giving him the strength to mutter the proper spells.

Al had never imagined he would meet such an amazing person when he first got on the train to Hogwarts. Now he was not sure how he would get through a summer without Scorpius.

* * *

Standing on the platform, Al kissed his mother goodbye, hugged his father, and raced onto the train. He was not late, but he needed to get on quickly. Al ran down the train, peering into each compartment until he found one with a blonde-haired person in it.

"Hi, Scor…" His voice trailed off as he realised the person he was talking to was not his friend. There were three girls inside the compartment he had just burst into.

One girl smiled, and her grin caused the corners of her grey eyes to crinkle. She was the blonde he had seen through the compartment window. "Hi, Al. I think Scorpius is a few more compartments down that way," she said, gesturing down the hall.

Al smiled back and tried to speak, but the words refused to come out. He focused on the girl next to her, a coping method he had learned in therapy, and said, "Thanks. Sorry for barging in on you." He backed out of the room and practically slammed the door. His heart was racing in his chest.

Why hadn't he been able to talk to that girl? Who was she? Why did she know Al's name?

Feeling more than a little confused, Al made his way down the train, carefully checking each compartment for Scorpius. He was not about to make the same mistake twice.

When he finally found Scorpius, Al flew through the door of the compartment. "Scorpius!" He wanted to give him a hug, but Bole was in the compartment for some reason, so Al settled for sitting next to him and squeezing up alongside him.

Scorpius smiled good-naturedly. "Hey, Al. A little personal space please?"

Al pouted, but scooted over so that there was a little bit of space between them.

"What kinda poofter are you, telling your boyfriend to move? Aren't you fairies supposed to be like girls and act all clingy?" Bole's voice wasn't _as_ spiteful as normal, as if he was actually curious.

Scorpius just rolled his eyes. Al replied, revelling in the fact that he had reached the point where he could even talk to Bole. "One, we aren't boyfriends, two, we aren't queer, and three, even if we were gay and together, we are still men. Why would we act like girls?"

Bole raised an eyebrow in his direction. "You could have fooled me. I've never seen boys lying on top of other boys like you two do." He sneered. "All that cuddling, fluffy stuff is way too queer for me." He turned towards Scorpius. "Listen, Malfoy, think about what I said. I'm outta here. The gayness might be catching."

He left before Scorpius could respond.

"What was that all about?" Al wondered aloud.

Scorpius shrugged. "Nothing. He was just being an arse."

Bole was always an arse. This didn't sound like his usual rudeness, but Al let it go. His was far too busy worrying about what had happened to him earlier. "Do you know the name of a blonde girl with grey eyes?" He thought back to what the girl had looked like. "I think she might be a Hufflepuff." She hadn't had her school robes on yet, but Al was almost positive she had been wearing a black and yellow clip in her hair.

Scorpius thought for a moment. "There are a number of Hufflepuff girls who fit that description. Lucinda is going to be a seventh year this term and she has blonde hair. I don't know what colour her eyes are. Jane and Mary are in sixth year, Topaz is a fourth year like us, and Sarah and Katie are third years. I think Topaz and Katie are the only ones with lighter coloured eyes, but I can't remember the colours exactly."

Al laughed. "Wow, I will never be able to remember people like you. Why do you know so many people?"

"I like knowing people. It's important to keep tabs on both your friends and your enemies." Scorpius stood then and stretched for a moment before rummaging around in his things. "Do you want a liquorice wand?" he asked as he pulled out a handful.

"No, that's alright." Al shook his head. "Tell me more about the girls you named. You said Topaz and Katie have grey eyes?"

Scorpius laughed and bit off the tip of one wand. "I hope they both don't have grey eyes. They are incredibly rare after all, and I enjoy being a peculiarity."

That was right; Scorpius had grey eyes too. Al felt silly for not having realised it earlier, but he shrugged off his discomfort. After all, what kind of bloke thinks about his male friends' eye colours? "You don't know then?"

"Nope. Can you tell me anything else about the girl?"

Al thought back to the other girls in the compartment. "I think she's friends with two other Hufflepuff girls." One girl had been wearing her uniform with a black and yellow crest prominently displayed on one side. The other girl had on a beaded yellow bracelet. Then he remembered the girl he had focused on for a moment slightly more clearly. "Oh! And one girl is black."

Scorpius nibbled on the end of a wand, but didn't bite down. "It's probably Topaz then. She's good friends with Marta Thomas and Belinda Firth, two Hufflepuffs."

"She's in our year?"

"Yes. You need to learn to recognise your year-mates, Al."

Al sighed. "I know. It's just that I spent years not being able to talk to them. And now everyone seems to have sorted themselves into groups. There's no room for me."

Scorpius reached over and ruffled Al's hair. "You can make friends, you just have to be pleasant and talk to them."

"But--"

"I know that's hard for you, but it's not impossible. And the best way to make a friend is to be a friend," Scorpius said.

Al watched Scorpius nibble on his liquorice for a moment and then nodded. "All right, I'll try. The first person I'm going to get to know is Topaz."

Scorpius bit the end of the wand and then looked at Al. "Why?" he asked after he swallowed his mouthful.

"I couldn't talk to her today," Al said with a frown. "For some reason I couldn't get my voice to work. I haven't regressed like that in months."

Scorpius raised an eyebrow. "And you want to start becoming more outgoing by making friends with a girl you can't talk to."

"Hey! It's not as stupid as it sounds!" Al protested.

"If you say so," Scorpius said. He returned to his candy.

Al grinned. "Besides, she's really cute."

Scorpius must have swallowed a bite of liquorice wrong because he started coughing.

"Scorpius? Are you all right?" Al reached out and pounded on Scorpius's back.

Scorpius nodded and gasped for air. "Just choked a bit. I think I took too big of a bite." He smiled wanly, but his eyes were wet. Had he choked hard enough to tear up?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Al rubbed his hand over Scorpius's back, trying to calm him.

Scorpius's smile grew larger, but the tears in his eyes started to fall down his face. He laughed loudly. "I'm fine, really. I do this all the time. I should stop eating these things." He put the liquorice wands away and settled into his seat with a book. Al doubted that Scorpius had told him the truth, but he just grabbed a book of his own to read on the long trip.

The rest of the train ride was silent, but neither boy minded. It was normal for them to spend hours together without either of them speaking. The silence was comfortable.

When they disembarked at the Hogsmeade station, kids from every year and house greeted Scorpius. It never failed to surprise Al that Scorpius was so popular. He understood the concept of popularity, but Al still felt the most comfortable around his family and Scorpius. Seeing Scorpius talking to so many people reminded Al that he would probably never get to that point.

Al shrugged off his morose thoughts and edged over to the waiting carriages. He waved at Hagrid and pulled on one of Lily's braids as she ran by with her friends. She stuck her tongue out at him and clambered into a horseless carriage. Rose passed by Al next, a book in one hand.

"Oi, Rose, how's Hugo?"

Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. "He's about as bad as you were. He's completely freaked out that he'll end up in Hufflepuff."

Al laughed. "Hufflepuff isn't a bad house." Topaz was in Hufflepuff. She seemed very nice. "Did you tell him no one in the family would care if he was sorted somewhere besides Gryffindor?"

"Yes, and he didn't believe me!" Rose huffed. "That boy drives me crazy. Thankfully, Hagrid is still taking them across. He'll bug the man to death for stories about magical creatures. By the time he gets to the castle he won't even remember he was worried."

"Rose! Come grab a carriage with us!" a tall girl in Gryffindor robes called.

Rose started. "Oh! I have to go. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye!" Al called after his cousin. He glanced back at Scorpius and found that he was still talking. Giving up, Al wandered over to the last carriage. He waved his hand softly in front of him until it came in contact with something he couldn't see. He moved his hand to the invisible creature's back and then ran it up to its head.

"How are you?" he asked, wishing he could see the animal with his own eyes. At the same time, he was glad he wasn't able to see the Thestrals. Witnessing death wasn't exactly on his to do list. His father and Aunt Luna had told him about them, and Hagrid had introduced them to him a couple of years ago. Ever since, Al had made it a point to visit the one who pulled his carriage.

After all, it wasn't their fault that they couldn't be seen.

"You're petting it again?" Scorpius asked as he walked up next to Al.

"Yeah," Al said, "I like to give them a little attention. It must get lonely when no one can see you, and they don't pay attention to you."

Scorpius held out his hand. "Show me where it is?"

"Just put your hand on top of mine." Scorpius placed his hand over Al's. It was warm and dry, but Al shivered for some reason. "Now, slowly move your fingers off my hand."

Scorpius hand slipped off his and onto the Thestral. "It feels a bit like fuzzy leather. Weird." Scorpius seemed amazed at this and rubbed the same spot repeatedly. The Thestral jerked beneath their hands, and Scorpius snatched his hand back.

Al laughed. "It's alive, so it moves. It only makes sense."

Scorpius glared at him. "Fine. Make fun of me." Then he smiled to let Al know he was joking. "Come on. Let's get into the carriage; I think they are getting ready to leave."

Al nodded, and they climbed into the carriage. It was time to go back to Hogwarts for another year. Al hoped it would be a good one.

* * *

The year was going by quickly. Al started to get a little upset with himself when Halloween arrived and he still had not talked to Topaz.

His first chance to speak to her came just after Halloween when they were partnered up in Herbology for a project.

"Hi, Al. I'm glad I get to work with you. Do you know what you would like to do for the project yet?" Topaz's smile was overwhelming.

Al tucked his chin into his chest and began contemplating the floor. It was just a plain wooden floor. There was a little bit of dirt on it from the last class. Merlin, he was pitiful. It was silly to examine the floor. Why couldn't he just force himself to talk to Topaz?

"Did you hear me?" Topaz waited a moment for him to speak. "Are you all right?"

Al wished he could sink into the floor. It was so embarrassing to look idiotic in front of a cute girl.

Scorpius intervened from nearby. "Don't worry about Al too much. Sometimes he still has trouble getting the words out."

Al knew Scorpius was trying to help, but now he really looked like an imbecile. He doubted any other bloke in Hogwarts had to have his friend help him talk to a girl.

Topaz didn't seem to think he was stupid though. She simply reached out and patted his hand. "That's okay. We'll work on it, and I bet I can help him talk."

Scorpius sniffed at her. "Al can talk. He just doesn't communicate well. There's a big difference."

Why was Scorpius being so combative? Normally he got along with everyone. Al looked up from the floor and found Scorpius and Topaz glaring at each other. He gulped. "Let's start," he managed to murmur. Focusing on his textbook instead of Topaz, he began speaking haltingly. "I would like to grow this plant."

Topaz moved close to him. Placing one hand on his shoulder, she leaned over to look at the page he pointed to. "That one looks like fun!" she said brightly.

Al looked at her and smiled. She grinned back at him. Then Al glanced over Scorpius. He had never seen Scorpius look so upset. He wanted to ask what was wrong but was distracted when Topaz began to babble on about the plant he had picked. Scorpius turned away, and Al felt like Scorpius had snubbed him. He tried to shrug off the feeling and turned back to Topaz. He couldn't wait till he could talk to her properly.

* * *

"Oi! Al! Over here!" Topaz waved madly at Al from the Hufflepuff table. "Come and eat with us!"

Al glanced at Scorpius. "You want to come?"

Scorpius smiled and shook his head. "Nah, that's okay. I think I'll eat lunch with the other Slytherins today."

Al frowned. "Okay. Come on over if you change your mind."

Scorpius nodded. "Will do."

Al turned and headed towards the Hufflepuffs' table. "Hey," he said as he sat.

Topaz grinned at him. "What have you been up to? We haven't seen much of you lately."

Al shrugged and his gaze fell to the plate in front of him. "Been busy." He felt like kicking himself. He had been working on becoming friends with Topaz and her group for almost three months, and he still couldn't manage to speak to her properly.

Luckily, she had taken it upon herself to help Al get over his speaking problems. "Look at me, please."

It was easier to obey an order than it was to force himself to do something. He looked up at her and felt his stomach turn over. Her grey eyes were twinkling--Al loved it when they did because it meant she was happy.

"Good! Now tell me what's been keeping you busy."

The other students at the table ignored their stilted conversation, and Al slowly spoke about his studies and a project he was working on for Potions. Topaz listened intently, reaching out and touch Al's hand when his gaze fell away from her.

When her hand touched his and stayed there, Al's stomach began flip-flopping. He looked up at her and straight into her eyes. His tongue stopped working immediately.

"What else, Al?" Topaz asked softly.

Al knew what his feelings meant. Topaz was beautiful, kind, and lovely. She was everything Al had ever thought a girl should be. He liked her, a lot. "I-I, will you, I…"

Topaz squeezed his hand. "What?"

Al took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on his words instead of the girl in front of him. "Will you g-go out with me?"

There was a small gasp behind them. Al's eyes flew open to see Scorpius standing there, looking shocked. "I was just going to come eat with you, but I just remembered I need to talk to someone." His eyes flew back and forth between Al and Topaz. "Um, with Rose. I'll see you later!" He fled like there were Dementors after him.

Rose? Scorpius rarely talked to Rose anymore. The two of them got on each other's nerves. Al wanted to go after him and ask what was up, but he remained at the table. Topaz still hadn't given him an answer. He looked at their joined hands and then at her. "No?" he asked tentatively.

"No! Not no! Yes! Of course I want to go out with you!" She smiled broadly. "I was hoping you would ask. Now we can spend all of our time together!"

How odd. Did going out with someone mean you were always with them? Al hoped not. He would miss hanging out with Scorpius.

He opened his mouth to ask Topaz what she meant, but she began talking before he could speak. "We should study together in the library tonight, and then tomorrow we can study outside because the weather is supposed to be nice. And Saturday is a Hogsmeade weekend, so we should go to Madam Puddifoot's together."

Al protested mildly. "But Scorpius and I--"

Topaz disregarded his words and continued to speak. "This is going to be so much fun! I'm so excited, Al!"

"Yeah," he muttered. She didn't seem to notice that Al's gaze had fallen to the table and wasn't rising. Al had just got exactly what he wanted. Why did it feel like something was missing?

* * *

"Scorpius! Do you want to study together this evening?" Al stuck his head inside his dorm room.

One of his roommates looked up from his homework. "He's not here."

Al frowned. "He said he would study here."

Another of his roommates shrugged and said, "Sorry. I don't know where he went."

"All right. Thanks." Al closed the door and moved back into the common room. Where could Scorpius be? Maybe the library. Al strode over to the door, only to be slammed into by Bole.

"Sorry!" Al said, moving out of the way.

Bole sneered at him. "Get out of my way, you bloody queer." He walked past without waiting for Al to respond.

Scorpius came through the door after Bole. "Shut up!" he called after Al's tormentor.

Bole turned around. "Why should I listen to you?"

Scorpius crossed his arms and smirked. "That thing you don't want spread around? I'll tell everyone if you don't shut your face."

Bole's face flushed a mottled purple. "You'll owe me for this."

"That's only fair."

Bole nodded once and sneered before heading to the dorm room.

"What happened?" Al asked.

Scorpius turned to him and smiled. "Nothing really. What are you up to?"

They definitely had not just fought over "nothing," but Al dropped the subject. If Scorpius didn't want to discuss it, they wouldn't discuss it. "Do you want to come study in the library with me?"

"Of course! Let me just grab my books." Al waited for Scorpius to gather up what he needed. Then they set off for the library. They talked the whole way, both of them babbling on about the silliest topics. Al hadn't had a chance to talk to Scorpius in days. Topaz always wanted to hang about together, and Al really missed Scorpius. Luckily, Topaz was spending some time with her friends today.

Unluckily, Topaz and her friends had decided to study together in the library. "Al!" she shrieked when she saw him. "Come sit with us!" Madame Pince glared at her from across the room, and Al could feel everyone watching him.

He felt his anxiety creeping up on him. He looked at Scorpius, who was frowning at the floor, and then at Topaz, who was waving at him. He wanted to study with his best mate, but Topaz would be upset if he didn't sit with her. Al tried to find a happy medium.

"Scorpius, do you mind if we sit with them?" he asked softly.

Scorpius shook his head. "It's okay. You go study with your girlfriend. I need to study in silence anyway." He walked to a far table without saying another word to Al.

Al glanced back at Topaz. She was still waving, but now she was frowning. He scurried over to her table and quietly said, "I'm going to study with Scorpius, okay?"

She glared at him. "No, it's not okay. I am your girlfriend, and I want you to study with me. He can come over here too, if you want, but I want you to come sit with me." She smiled sweetly. "Please, Al."

Scorpius was still sitting there all alone, his head bowed over his work. Al took a deep breath. "No, not today. I'm studying with Scorpius."

Topaz's smile morphed into a sneer. "Merlin, you are such an awful boyfriend. I'm not sure I want to date you if you can't even make time to study with me."

Al thought back on his week. He had done something with Topaz almost every day. The only time he had seen Scorpius was at bedtime. He missed his best friend. "I'm a bad boyfriend, I guess. I'm going to study with Scorpius today."

Al turned to leave, but Topaz grabbed his arm. "If you leave now, I will break up with you. Now sit down."

His gaze fell to the floor. He wanted to protest, to say that it was Scorpius he wanted to study with, but he couldn't. Topaz was his first girlfriend, and he _really_ liked her. She started to pull him closer to the table, but Al balked.

"No."

"What?" Topaz looked at him as if he was crazy. "Do you want to break up?"

Topaz or Scorpius? A cute girl or the boy who had saved him from the silence? "Yes," he said.

She released his arm with a shove. Baring her teeth at him, she snarled, "Fine. I don't care. I tried to help you. I tried to be nice to you and take care of you. But you don't want me. So you can go back to _Scorpius_"--she spat the name at him--"and forget about me. We are over."

Al shrugged and walked away. He thought a break-up should probably hurt more. It didn't matter; now he would have time to spend with Scorpius. That made it all worth it.

Scorpius looked up from his books to meet Al's eyes as he approached. "What are you doing over here?"

"We broke up."

Scorpius's smile was bright and sunny. "So you're going to study with me?"

Al nodded and plopped his stuff down on the table. "I'm sorry," he said.

Scorpius quirked his head to the side. "Why?"

"I let a girl come between us. I won't do it again."

"Good. See that you don't." They both laughed and then started on their homework.

Al watched Scorpius study and felt his heart throb. He loved Scorpius, as a friend. They were both blokes after all. He hoped he would be able to find a girl as awesome as Scorpius one day. He had thought he had that in Topaz, but except for her grey eyes and blond hair, she was nothing like Scorpius. Someday though, someday he would have a girl like Scorpius to fall in love with.


	4. Chapter 4

Al had just broken up with his girlfriend, again. He walked down the hall to the Slytherin dorms, the book bag on his shoulder nowhere near as heavy as his heart. Why couldn't he ever manage to keep a girlfriend? They were all nice girls, but they just weren't quite right. None of them were as cool as Scorpius was, and Al didn't want to date a girl who he couldn't be best friends with. Not that Al wanted to replace Scorpius! He just wanted to feel as close to his girlfriend as he felt to Scorpius. Was that too much to ask?

Al wandered into the Slytherin common room and nodded at the other students. They smiled back at him, but didn't bother to say anything. For all of his hard work, Al still couldn't converse all of the time, and he hadn't been able to make many close friends. People were nice to him, but they tended to treat him as if he was a mute.

Sighing, Al walked to the seventh year boys' dorm room and pushed open the door. He gasped when he saw what was happening in the room.

Bole sat on one of the beds, his head thrown back as he moaned. Al could see someone's head bobbing in Bole's lap. He couldn't tell who it was from this angle, but he knew it was a boy because his blond hair was short and his hands, which were holding down Bole's hips, were strong and very masculine.

Bole had been making fun of the gay students in the school for years. Al and Scorpius had withstood his taunts since first year, even though neither of them were gay. What was he doing with a boy?

"Oh, Malfoy, right there!" Bole groaned, and Al's eyes widened. Scorpius was the one giving him a blow job? He looked at the boy, watched his head move forward and backwards, and saw a ring glint on one finger. He recognized that ring; it was a Malfoy family signet ring.

His book bag fell to the floor, and the other two boys jumped apart.

"Potter!"

"Al!"

Bole sounded shocked, and it almost looked like he was frightened. Al didn't spare him a second glance. He was too busy looking at Scorpius.

Scorpius's chest heaved as he gasped for breath. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was messier than Al had ever seen it. He got to his feet, but he didn't approach Al.

"Al, I… um, listen. I have to tell you…" His voice was deep and husky, a by-product of what he had just been doing. The sound of it rattled Al and made the blood rush through his veins.

Bole cleared his throat and cut Scorpius off, standing up and buttoning his trousers. "It's not what you're thinking. I'm not gay. Your boyfriend just wanted me for some reason, and any blow job is a good blow job, right? A mouth is a mouth!" His laughter was forced and nervous.

Scorpius glared at Bole. "It's not like that. Stop being a bastard. Listen, Al, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I'm gay. Um, Bole and I have been… together since… fourth year."

Al's heart stopped. They'd been dating since fourth year? Why didn't Scorpius tell Al? Al wouldn't have judged him. He didn't like Bole, but he loved Scorpius and wanted him to be happy.

Bole scoffed at Scorpius. "Together? You make it sound like we are in a relationship. This is sex, nothing more. You are just a body to get off with. You agreed to that years ago."

Scorpius's mouth dropped open. His lips were still pink and puffy from what he had been doing. The image of him lying under Bole, his mouth wide and pink as he moaned loudly, popped into Al's head. Al blushed and looked at the floor. What was he thinking? Scorpius was his best mate!

"And you said you wouldn't tell anyone that!" Scorpius was shouting, his hoarse voice making Al's bones vibrate. Al couldn't get the memory of Scorpius on his knees before Bole out of his head.

"You broke your part of the deal too. Potter knows about us, and he's going to tell everyone I'm gay, and I'm not. I'm fucking straight!"

"Oh, just keep saying that shit. Maybe one day you'll convince yourself." Scorpius walked closer to Al until his feet appeared in Al's line of vision. "Are we… okay?"

Al wanted to look up, but he couldn't. That old fear filled him, though Al didn't know why. It was Scorpius. He was gay, but that didn't change anything. Why couldn't Al look at him?

Scorpius reached out and touched his cheek, and Al flinched. His flinch brought his gaze up to Scorpius's, and he saw something in Scorpius's eyes, something he couldn't handle.

"Al, please, just say something."

Al couldn't talk. The words froze inside of him, and his heart froze along with them. He turned on his heel and ran.

* * *

"You need to go back to your own dorm." Rose stood in front of Al, her fists on her hips and a disapproving frown on her lips.

Al thought of what waited for him in his dorm: Scorpius and Bole. He still hadn't managed to wrap his mind around the fact that the two of them were… having sex? Fucking? What would you call the kind relationship that Bole claimed they had?

"Please, Rosie, just let me stay here for the night." Al pleaded with his cousin to no avail. She pulled Head Girl ranking on him and told him he would have detention with Filch for a month if he didn't go sleep in his own dorm.

Al sighed as he wandered back down to the dungeons from the Gryffindor tower. He didn't want to face Scorpius. It was stupid of him to have run. Scorpius probably thought Al hated him, but he couldn't be further from the truth. Al loved Scorpius—as a friend that is.

Right? Al thought about his feelings for Scorpius. He had been the person Al relied on for the last seven years. Scorpius was the first person Al told news to, good or bad. He was Al's idea of a perfect best mate, and the thought of losing Scorpius always upset Al.

Was there more to it though? Was Al… in love with Scorpius? What was love?

Al thought about his parents. They were always together, talking and sharing everything. Even when his dad was off on missions they would Floo each other as often as possible.

Then there were Al's aunt and uncle. Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione were always fighting, but they fought with smiles on their faces and they never seemed to hold a grudge. It was as if arguing made them happy.

Grandma Molly and Grandpa Arthur were quietly in love. They rarely kissed in front of Al, but they would touch each other's arms or hands as they talked so that they shared a tangible connection. Grandma cooked for Grandpa, and Grandpa fixed things for Grandma. They supported each other in everything.

Just as Scorpius supported Al in everything.

Scorpius was always there for Al, and Al tried to be there for Scorpius. When they fought they would get upset, but they would get over it quickly. Scorpius helped Al talk, and Al kept Scorpius grounded.

It was as if they were an old married couple already!

Al tried to consider what would happen if he lost Scorpius, but he couldn't even think about it. It was too scary to contemplate. Al's life would be empty without Scorpius.

Was that love then? Al loved Scorpius, but he didn't think he was in love with him. Wouldn't Al have to be attracted to Scorpius to be in love with him?

Scorpius was handsome. Al admitted that. He was a boy though. Kissing a bloke would be gross. Kissing Scorpius though… would it be that bad? Scorpius had almost no facial hair, something Al liked to tease him about. His hair was a little long for a boy, and he had very slight facial features. If he closed his eyes, Al probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between Scorpius and a girl.

Al was getting close to the dungeons, but he knew he still wasn't ready to talk to Scorpius. He didn't know how he felt yet. Al squished himself into an alcove, leaning back against the wall, and returned to his thoughts.

How would it feel to snog Scorpius? Would it be… okay? Fun? Nice? He slammed his head backwards and squeaked when it hit the wall. Damn.

Maybe he was gay. Surely a straight bloke wouldn't be thinking about kissing his friend.

Al moaned and slumped to the floor. He must be gay—and attracted to Scorpius. It was the only thing that made sense. Al enjoyed being around Scorpius, missed him when he was gone, and would probably enjoy snogging him.

Scorpius was gay. The thought flew into Al's mind, and he realized that he had a chance with Scorpius. Then the memory of Scorpius's bobbing head popped up in Al's head. No, Al didn't have a chance. Scorpius had something with Bole, and it had been going on for three years.

Al didn't know why Bole had tried to blow it off, but Scorpius must have loved Bole to have had such a long relationship with him. That hurt. Why did Scorpius love Bole? He was such a bastard!

Why couldn't Scorpius love Al instead? Al slumped to the floor and laid back against the wall. This was too confusing. He had just realized he liked his best mate as more than a friend, and that he didn't have a chance with him. Al pulled his knees to his chest and put his head on them. Maybe things would make more sense in the morning. He fell asleep curled up in the alcove.

* * *

Al woke up the next morning still tucked into the alcove. He blinked and wiped the crust from his eyes as a group of Hufflepuffs hurried past him. Wondering what time it was, he stood up and stretched before heading down to the Slytherin dorms.

The clock in the common room told him he had fifteen minutes to get to Potions. Luckily, the classroom was only about five minutes from the dorms. Al rushed into his room, which was empty, and quickly changed into a fresh uniform. He picked up his book bag from his bed where someone had placed it, and swapped out the textbooks he had used the day before for the ones he needed for Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

It took him eight minutes to get himself put together, so he took a minute to grab and eat a licorice wand and two Chocolate Frogs. The sugar made his stomach feel a little queasy, but it was always better to face Professor Slughorn with something in his belly. The professor's tendency to bribe Al with food when he was hungry usually led to Al having to do favors he would never have done otherwise.

It wasn't until after Al had left the Slytherin dorms and was halfway to the Potions lab that he realized he would have to sit with Scorpius for the entire lesson. His stomach flipped over, and Al couldn't tell if it was from anxiety or excitement. Either way, he was now regretting having eaten the sweets.

He slipped into the classroom and into his seat next to Scorpius just as Slughorn began speaking to the class.

Scorpius's elbow rammed Al in the ribs, and Al looked over at his friend.

_Are you mad?_ Scorpius mouthed at him.

Al shook his head, but looked away. He pretended to focus his attention on the professor, but he could feel Scorpius's eyes on him.

Scarcely five minutes had passed before Al had a scrap of parchment pushed in front of him.

The note from Scorpius read:

_I'm sorry. I should have told you. Will you forgive me?_

Al shrugged and wrote back.

_I'm not really upset with you. I don't care if you are gay or with Bole. I just wish you had trusted me with this. You should have known I wouldn't judge you._

Scorpius's reply was quick and sloppily written.

_I was just so afraid I would lose you. You mean the world to me._

Al felt his stomach flip-flop. Stupid sweets.

_I would never have abandoned you. You are my best mate._

Scorpius sent him a smile, and Al felt his stomach churn in response. He tried to smile back at Scorpius, but from the look on his friend's face, he failed.

Professor Slughorn began the lesson then. They worked silently, first on taking notes, and then on the individual potions that Slughorn assigned them. When they both reached for the dried persimmon at the same time, their fingers touched. Al snatched his hand back. It felt like it was burning, and his stomach fluttered badly. He chanced a glance at Scorpius.

Scorpius was looking at him as if Al had reached out and smacked him. Al couldn't figure out why. Finally, he realized that Scorpius must have thought Al was rejecting him for being gay. Immediately, Al reached out and grabbed Scorpius's hand. He squeezed it tightly, and ignored the movements of his stomach. Scorpius smiled at him lightly, and Al couldn't hold his gaze. He looked at the floor between them and focused on the feeling of his fingers in Scorpius's.

Bole jostled them and muttered, "Faggots," as he passed.

Scorpius dropped his hand, and Al struggled to breathe. It was understandable that Scorpius did not want his boyfriend to think he was cheating. Still, Al felt like he had been discarded. His stomach was no longer moving. Instead, it felt as though it had fallen to his feet—and his heart had dropped along with it.

Al finished the lesson in silence, and he was careful not to look at or touch Scorpius again. When everyone began cleaning up to head to their next class, Al rushed to return his things to where they belonged. He ripped off a bit of parchment and scribbled a quick note on it.

_Missed breakfast. Going to the kitchens. See you in DADA!_

He pushed the note into Scorpius's hand and dashed out of the door as soon as Slughorn dismissed them. Al just was not ready to face Scorpius. It was easier to run.

* * *

Al avoided Scorpius all day. They sat together in their classes as they normally did, but Al would come up with excuses not to talk in between classes. He always gave Scorpius his excuses in writing though. Al couldn't make himself speak to his friend.

It worried Al. He'd never had problems talking with Scorpius, not since that very first time they met on the train. Recently, Al had been able to talk to anyone, even complete strangers. Not being able to speak to Scorpius was upsetting, and Al didn't understand why he was having a problem with it.

Hiding in the Slytherin dorms with his curtains drawn around his bed for privacy, Al tried to focus on his homework. Al had told Scorpius that he would be studying in the library for most of the afternoon, and then had come here to avoid him. He couldn't get Scorpius off his mind though. Sighing, he shoved his books to the side and stretched out on his bed. He drifted off to sleep and was jolted back to consciousness when he heard the door open. Two people stomped into the room.

"Damn it, Malfoy. All I want is to get off with someone. Why are you making this so complicated?"

"Because it is complicated! We've been having sex for three years now. Do we just stop now that Al knows?"

Al's eyes flew open. Scorpius was going to break up with Bole? The thought pleased him.

"As long as your boyfriend keeps his gob shut, I see no reason to stop. I just want sex."

Scorpius snorted, and Al could tell he was moving closer to Al. For a moment Al was afraid he would throw open the curtains and find Al eavesdropping, but the squeak of Scorpius's bedsprings told him Scorpius had been headed for his own bed.

"Why do you even pretend to be straight? You know you want cock. You live for it." Scorpius's voice was low.

Bole snarled, and Al jumped. He must have followed Scorpius to the bed, because Bole's voice came from nearby. "Take that back! I'm not a fucking pansy like you. I'm going to get married to a girl like a proper pureblood should. I'll take my rightful place in society. You'll just end up living in your decrepit old manor, forever shunned by society."

Is that was Scorpius faced? Al had never seen someone treated badly because they were gay, but he might have been the exception to the rule. It was well known that his Uncle Charlie was gay, so perhaps his family and friends had been more accepting than most.

What about Al himself? While he didn't have a chance with his friend, what if he fell in love with some other bloke someday? He couldn't imagine how his parents would react, but he hoped they would be accepting.

"At least I'm comfortable with who I am and who I love." Scorpius's voice was strong, and Al smiled. Scorpius always had been one to stand up for his convictions.

"Oh, just shut the fuck up and put your mouth to better use," Bole grumbled.

Al blushed when he realized what Bole meant.

"Uh-uh. You know the rules. We take turns. I did you last time, and now I want my turn."

"No. I'm hard now."

Al's face grew redder and redder as he listened to them argue. Was he going to be stuck there while they had sex?

"So am I, and if you don't want to go down on me, I'll just take care of it myself."

Al just about died. He did not need to know that about Scorpius. It was difficult enough to think about kissing him. He didn't want to consider that his friend got hard... and that he "took care of it".

Bole's answer sounded panicked. "No, no, let's just do it at the same time!"

That was a mental picture Al did _not_ need.

"Fine. Get in bed."

Al heard fabric rustling and zippers un-zipping. Then he heard them draw Scorpius's curtains. Sitting up slowly, he peeked out of his bed hangings. The curtains were indeed drawn. He crept out of the other side of his bed, and grabbed his book bag from the floor. A sudden moan echoed across the room, and Al snatched the door open as quickly as he could, caring little about the sound it made.

Neither of the boys must have noticed the noise because another, louder moan issued from the bed. He slammed the door closed and made a run for it.

* * *

It had been five weeks and four days since Al had first walked in on Bole and Scorpius. It had also been five weeks and four days since Al had spoken to Scorpius.

Scorpius had tried to talk to Al almost daily. Al had tried to talk to him too. It was just that the words kept getting caught in his throat. Anytime Scorpius was in the room, Al found himself looking at the floor and shutting down completely. He hadn't been this bad since first year!

Al hadn't had a chance to talk to anyone about it either. Telling someone would mean telling them that learning Scorpius was gay had started the whole thing, and he didn't want to tell Scorpius's secret to anyone.

People were starting to notice though. His professors had to hold him back after class to watch him perform spells because he couldn't speak in front of Scorpius. His family had asked him what was wrong after he kept freezing up on them whenever he saw Scorpius. Scorpius himself was getting angry. Every time Al froze up, Scorpius would glare at him and stomp off. Scorpius's angry stares brought Al more pain than his family's concerned glances ever could.

Wanting to talk to Scorpius wasn't helping though. Nothing was. The only thing Al could do was send Scorpius notes to try to convey that he wasn't angry with him.

Apparently, the message hadn't come across, because five weeks and four days after Al lost the ability to talk to his best friend, Scorpius sent him a note.

It read:

_Al,  
Meet me in front of the statue of Harriet the Horned tonight at nine. We need to talk.  
S_

Al knew that talking wasn't going to happen, so he left a note on the statue at eight that said he would be studying in the Gryffindor common room, and ran to the library instead.

Scorpius found him there. He grabbed Al's arm and dragged him out of the library. Al struggled to pull away, but he didn't try very hard. The feel of his friend's hand holding him tightly was making his heart flutter strangely.

It wasn't until Scorpius began pacing near a familiar tapestry that Al began to struggle in earnest. He tried to holler for Scorpius to let him go, but the words were stuck deep inside of him. When a door appeared before them, Scorpius yanked him through it and into a small room that held nothing but a pair of chairs.

He let go of Al's arm, and Al whirled to escape, but the door was gone.

"I asked the Room of Requirement for somewhere you couldn't leave until we talked. So now we are going to talk."

Al spun back around to face his friend, but his anger died when he saw the look of fury on Scorpius's face. His eyes fell to the ground, and he fell back against the wall. He didn't know what to do—there was nowhere to run.


	5. Chapter 5

"Do I disgust you?" Scorpius snapped at him. "Am I so freaky that you can't stand to be in the same room as me?"

Al shook his head.

"Then why have you been avoiding me?"

Al opened his mouth, and then closed it. He shrugged.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

Al shrugged again. He wanted to look up and see what Scorpius's reaction was, but he couldn't bring himself to lift his head.

"Talk to me, Potter!"

The use of his last name stung. Last names had always been reserved for their enemies, like Bole.

"Talk to me!" Scorpius reached out and shoved Al's shoulder. Al slammed against the wall, and dropped to the floor instinctively.

"Oh, no. Al, I'm sorry. I just... why won't you talk to me?"

He reached out slowly, and Al flinched away from his hand.

"Look what I've done. Damn it! I'm sorry, Al."

Scorpius dropped his hand and turned away. Al stood quickly, and reached out to touch Scorpius.

When Scorpius moved to turn back towards Al, Al cried, "No!" Both of them were shocked by his speech.

"I'm... don't turn... please."Al had to force each word out. It was hard, but the thought of hurting Scorpius forced him to try to explain.

Scorpius nodded and faced away from Al.

"You are my... friend. I'm..." Al's voice trailed off.

"What? What are you?"

Al stared at the back of Scorpius's head, his hand on Scorpius's shoulder. "I'm... regressing."

Scorpius turned then, knocking Al's hand from his shoulder, and his gaze caught Al's for a minute before Al's eyes fell to the ground.

"What do you mean you are regressing?"

Al could feel Scorpius looking at him, examining him. The words locked themselves up inside of him again. He shrugged.

"You mean... you regressed around Topaz, right?" Al nodded. "You haven't done it since then though." Al shrugged again.

Scorpius reached out and pushed Al's chin up until he was looking at Scorpius. "I'm sorry. This isn't your fault. We'll figure out how to beat this, okay?"

Al gazed into his best mates grey eyes and struggled not to lean into his touch. They were friends. Scorpius had Bole. Logic didn't stop his heart from beating overtime.

"Okay?"

Al nodded, and used the motion as an excuse to lean into Scorpius. He didn't know if they would be able to work this out, but he had to make an attempt. He missed his friend too much not to try.

* * *

"Potions?"

A week had passed since Scorpius cornered him, and Al was finally able to say single words to Scorpius. They had started with Al writing Scorpius notes and Scorpius replying vocally, and then they had moved on to keeping Al from focusing on the ground instead of Scorpius.

Now Al would say a word, and Scorpius would talk about the subject until he covered whatever it was that Al had wanted to talk about.

Scorpius started ranting about their latest potions class in reply to Al's question, and Al just listened with a smile. Over the past week, the two of them had spent every day together. They sat together at classes, they ate together at meals, and they did homework together at night. Al had never spent so much time together with his best mate before, and he loved having Scorpius's undivided attention. Now he knew why all of his girlfriends had wanted to spend every minute together. There was nothing like spending time with the person you loved.

They had—Al loved Scorpius? Where had that come from? Al continued to let Scorpius's voice flow over him, but his attention had been captured by his thoughts.

When had Al fallen in love with Scorpius? He looked at the boy in front of him, and considered this. He couldn't think of a specific time, or even a reason why, he had fallen in love. He just was.

Was he really in love? His earlier thoughts about love came back to him. They spent all of their time together, like Al's parents. They fought with kindness, like Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron. Mostly though, they supported each other, like Al's grandparents. So, it had to be love.

Al revelled in the knowledge for a moment. It felt like the truth; it felt comfortable and warm, like a fuzzy old blanket you took to be every night even though it was grey instead of white and one corner was coming unravelled. Then the reality of the situation came crashing back down on him. Scorpius was a boy.

What would people say?

Al was shocked to realize he couldn't care less. His whole life he had worried what people thought about him. When he was still unable to speak, he would worry that everyone he met thought he was stupid or crazy. But when it came to Scorpius, nothing mattered. All that mattered was Scorpius.

That was an even bigger problem though.

Al watched his friend babble on about potions, and he struggled not to smile sappily at Scorpius. The Slytherin common room was not the place to show weakness, and most of the Slytherins deemed love the ultimate weakness. Al knew it was the ultimate strength.

Out of the corner of his eye, Al saw Bole frown at Scorpius. Then he glared in Al's direction. Al returned his glare, and scooted his chair closer to Scorpius's. Bole didn't love Scorpius, and Al refused to let Bole hurt his best mate. Seven years of solid friendship was worth way more than three years of fucking.

Al's movements distracted Scorpius from his speech, and he looked at Al and smiled broadly. Al returned the smile, his heart fluttering. Surely, friendship was worth more than a fuck. Right?

Bole walked by then, and dropped a note into Scorpius's lap as he passed. He smirked at Al, and entered the seventh year boys' dorms. Scorpius's eyes followed Bole and then fell to the note. He opened it and read it silently. Then he shoved the note into his bag and turned to Al.

"What do you want to talk about now?" he asked.

Al looked at his friends face, monitoring his expression. "Bole," he said. Scorpius's face flickered, but Al didn't know what emotion had shown up in that split second.

"Bole's a bastard, as always. What else do you want to talk about?" Al knew he was trying to change the subject; too bad Al didn't want the subject changed.

"Note?"

Scorpius gulped and looked away. "He just wants to talk later."

"Liar." There was no way that was all that Bole had wanted. Not with that smirk he had shot Al.

Scorpius turned back to him and glared. "I'm not lying. He said he wanted to meet me later."

Al fought back the urge to laugh madly. "Sex," was what Bole really wanted.

Scorpius blushed, but he kept his gaze steady on Al's face. "Well, I don't want that. So, all it will be is just talking. Thus, I didn't lie!"

He didn't want sex? "Why?"

Scorpius scoffed. "Why didn't I lie? Because I wouldn't lie to you!"

Al was touched, but that wasn't what he meant. "No sex... why?" he managed to murmur, casting his glance around to be sure no one was in hearing distance.

"Um... I... It's just..." Scorpius blushed a bright red. "It's because I'm done with him."

Al brightened. Really? Was that why Bole had seemed so upset with Al? "Why?"

"Bole was the only gay I knew, so when he offered sex without strings on the train in fourth year, I took him up on it. Now though... I love someone. I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with him for Bole."

Al's heart shattered. Al didn't have to worry about Bole. He could compete against that brat. If Scorpius had fallen in love though, Al had no chance.

"Who?" he said, his voice steady even though his heart felt like a pile of broken glass.

Scorpius blushed and looked away. "A really special bloke. I have no chance with him, but that's okay. I'll just be happy if I can be around him."

The shards of Al's heart were puncturing his lungs. It was the only explanation for why every breath hurt. _Me!_ he wanted to shout at the top of his lungs. _Pick me, love me, and I'll love you forever and ever!_

Instead, he muttered, "Oh," and turned back to his homework. The two of them studied in silence for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Things were rapidly going down the toilet. Ever since Scorpius had told him he was in love with someone else, Al hadn't been able to talk to him. Well, technically, Al probably could talk to him, but the only words that seemed to want to come out of his mouth were "I love you."

When they went to bed that night, Al tried to say "Goodnight," but the word had refused to come out. Scorpius had frowned at him but let it pass when Al waved instead.

At breakfast, he had tried to ask for the maple syrup and "I love" had come tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Thankfully, Scorpius had taken it to mean that he loved maple syrup and had passed him the container.

While trying to turn his needle into a haystack in Transfiguration, Al had told his wand "I love you" because Scorpius walked into his line of vision while he was trying to cast the spell. In Herbology, he told a Spiny Cattail Cactus he loved it, and in Charms, Professor Flitwick himself had ended up being the object of Al's affection.

Meanwhile, Al hadn't said a single word to Scorpius all day, and as night got closer, he found himself unable to look up from the floor when he was around Scorpius. Scorpius kept getting more and more frustrated with Al.

It was just as the sun was setting that Scorpius lost his patience with Al. They had been working on homework in the library, and passing notes back and forth, when Al suddenly found himself stricken with the inability to even write to Scorpius.

All he could think about was that Scorpius loved some other boy. Some boy that wasn't Al. No matter what Al did, no matter what he said, he would never be good enough for Scorpius. He probably wasn't even good enough for Scorpius to fuck.

Scorpius had probably liked fucking Bole because he could talk. He could moan things like "Malfoy, right there!" He could tempt Scorpius with dirty talk.

All Al could do was pass notes. That would make sex rather difficult.

When Scorpius shoved the note they had been passing over onto Al's side of the desk, Al reached out to grab it and write back, and all of his insecurities caught up to him. Why was Scorpius bothering? Al wasn't worth all of this work.

He sat there staring at the piece of parchment, his hand hovering over it but not touching it. If Al told Scorpius to give up, Scorpius would be able to spend time with the bloke he loved. He wouldn't have to waste his time on Al.

He must have sat there deliberating for a while because Scorpius reached out to touch him and asked, "Are you all right?"

Al looked up at the man he loved. Scorpius deserved someone he could talk with. Al stood and shoved his things into his bag.

"Al... what are you doing?"

Al moved over to the door. He couldn't look back. He couldn't let himself monopolize Scorpius's time.

"Albus Severus Potter! Where the hell are you going?"

He didn't really know. Al could see the sun setting outside of the castle, and he moved towards the nearest exit. He needed to escape. The hallways were making him feel claustrophobic.

He had just about the doors to the gardens when he felt a hand grasp his shoulder. Al wrenched himself free from the hand, his bag falling unheeded to the floor, and he ran. His chest hurt, and his lungs burned, but still he ran.

He was past the gardens and halfway across the lawn before Scorpius caught up to him. He grabbed Al by the wrist and spun him around. Al kept his head turned away from Scorpius, staring at the Forbidden Forest he had been running toward. The shadows along the edge of the forest moved, and Al shuddered.

"What was that all about? Have you lost your mind?"

Al shook his head. He hadn't lost his mind, he'd only lost his heart.

"Talk to me!" Scorpius shook him gently. Even in his anger, he was kind. "Why won't you talk to me?"

Al was frustrated. Scorpius should know why. They had been over this. He tried to pull his arm free of Scorpius's grip, but Scorpius refused to release him. Finally, he forced the word "regressing" out of his lips, holding back the three words that wanted to come out.

Scorpius refused to take that as an answer. "Why are you regressing? You haven't regressed since Topaz. Why are you regressing now?"

Why wouldn't Scorpius just let him go? Al struggled to pull himself free.

"Al... why now?"

The words were pushing to come out. "I... love..." Al cut off his words before the last one could escape.

Scorpius grip loosened, and Al jerked himself free. He stood there panting the need to escape warring with the urge to tell Scorpius everything.

"You're in love?" Scorpius asked, and Al nodded. "With who?"

Al looked up then. Scorpius's face was contorted by an emotion that Al couldn't pinpoint. He reached out and smoothed the lines of Scorpius's face.

Scorpius grasped his hand lightly. "Who?" he repeated.

This was it. This was the end of everything. Scorpius would hate him, would avoid him, wouldn't want to be around him. Nothing would ever be the same. He couldn't say it.

Al turned the question back on him. "You... love... who?"

Scorpius gripped Al's hand harshly. "I... I can't tell you," Scorpius said desperately.

Al shook his head. He couldn't tell Scorpius, not when it would lead to his heart being broken. "Who?" Al asked again.

Scorpius looked away then. His mouth opened and closed, and then he sighed. "You."

Al jerked his hand from Scorpius's. Was this a joke or was he being serious? "I..."

Scorpius turned to leave, and Al wanted to cry. "I'm sorry, Al. I didn't want to fall in love with you. You're my best friend, and I didn't want to lose you. I understand if you want me to go away now."

Al took a deep breath. The words felt trapped again, but he didn't care. He had to keep Scorpius from leaving. He forced himself to speak.

"I... you."

Scorpius looked back at him. "What?"

"Love."

Scorpius had a look of dawning understanding on his face. "Love what?"

"I love... you."

Scorpius smiled then, a beatific smile that lit up the sky more than the setting sun. "Really?"

Al smiled back at him. "I love you," he said again.

Scorpius reached out and took his hand. "No joke?"

In a rush, like a dam breaking, the words began to flow out of Al. "I love you. I've loved you for years. I think I've loved you since before I knew what love really was. I was so glad that you never dated, and I never realized why. I judged all of my girlfriends against you, and they all came up wanting. When you told me you loved someone, I thought I would die, but I tried to give you up because you deserve someone better than me, someone who can talk and laugh and look and smile."

Scorpius squeezed his hand. "You can talk, Al. You've always been able to talk."

"Not like a normal person. Not like the person you deserve to have."

"You are worth more than anyone else alive." Al shook his head, but Scorpius pressed on. "You've always been able to talk to me. I know that if you smile and don't blink, you're focusing on smiling and it's not real. If you laugh quietly, then you are truly laughing. If you sit quietly, but are reading or writing, then you are content. And when you are upset, you clam up and refuse to talk to anyone."

"That's not talking."

Scorpius smiled. "Maybe I don't want to talk."

What was he on about? "Then what do you want to do?"

Scorpius leaned forward, resting his cheek against Al's. "I want to touch." He sniffed lightly at Al's hair. "I want to smell." He ran his tongue along Al's ear. "I want to taste." Then he pulled away to look into Al's eyes. "I want to see."

Al felt like his heart would burst. How was it possible to love someone this much? He raised his hands and wrapped his arms around Scorpius's neck. "I want to feel," he said as he pulled Scorpius closer and pressed a kiss to his lips. Scorpius responded happily.

It was the perfect kiss: soft and sweet, and then hard and fast. Both boys were gasping for breath when they pulled away.

Scorpius brushed the hair away from Al's face. "Talking takes more than words."

Al nodded, and looked away. "I just want to be sure... Bole is...?"

Scorpius pressed a kiss on his temple. "Bole and I are through. He was nothing but a substitute for you."

Al was startled. "A substitute? We are nothing alike!"

Scorpius laughed. "You both have brown hair and green eyes. You are stubborn in your efforts to talk, and Bole is stubborn in his efforts to pretend he is straight."

Al spluttered. "That's, that's like saying I dated Topaz because she looked like you!"

Scorpius raised an eyebrow. "Why did you date her then?"

Al considered that for a moment. "Well, I saw her blonde hair on the train and... thought she was you. Oh."

"Exactly."

They shared a laugh, and then Al smiled up at Scorpius. "We're dating now, right?"

"Of course. You must be crazy if you think I'll let anyone else have you."

"Good." Al took Scorpius's hand in his, and turned back to the castle just as the last sliver of the sun fell into the horizon. They walked quietly, but they shared a conversation of smiles, glances, and touches.

Al knew that silence would never again be painful as long as he had Scorpius by his side.

THE END!


End file.
